Fuck Century Link with a Passion

I can’t even begin to explain how frustrated I am with CenturyLink right now. It is the stuff of nightmares, and it is a story worth telling a million times. I’ve been on hold for good 3 hours today, I have been told of by a chat representtaive and my problem is nowhere close to being resolved.

The worst part is that I simply want to cancel the service. A service they have failed to install more than 10 times.

A little background before we go further. I look after a property in Seattle, an AirBnB rental. I am currently living in Australia, which makes the management of the property even more challenging. For this reason I work with a friend, Joyce, who helps me with everything. She is my point of contact for everything there.

It all started about a month ago, when I contacted them to get a new service for DSL as my current provider, Wave internet, was lacking in terms of customer service. Every now and then the internet went down and having them coming to repair it always took some time. The problem with my area in Seattle is that it was not serviced by anyone else but Wave, but recently I found that CenturtyLink was an option and I thought to give it a go. Fuck that cursed day when I made that decision.

It all seems fine and dandy when I opened the account with them, service was scheduled to be installed 5 days later. Instructions from there end were simple: the tech would call us 30 minutes before arrival so we could meet him/her there. Instructions from my end were also very simple: don’t call me, call Joyce at the phone number I provided.

This is when the nightmare begins:

1. We originally scheduled June 13 to have service installed. We advised to call Joyce and gave her number. Tech ends calling me (at 2:00 am Australia). Since I do not answer, he simply leaves.
2. Reschedule for the 14, apologies everywhere from CenturyLink. Same story happens, they call me again when they were supposed to call Joyce. Joyce calls and try to see what’s up only to be told she is not authorized. What? I authorized her since day 1! So now I ask them to remove my fucking number from their system and only keep Joyce’s.
3. Reschedule for the 20th, same story happens.
4. Reschedule for June 21, tech calls me … AGAIN.
5. Joyce was all morning in the unit and tech never showed up.
6. Reschedule for June 22, tech calls me AGAIN
7. I call the tech he says he’ll be there next day.
8. We wait next day, nothing. Bear in mind this house is an AirBnB and we are trying to juggle everything between guests. Joyce has to travel from Bellevue to Seattle every time, incredibly exhausting for everyone.
9. Reschedule for the 23, no calls, another failure.
10. Reschedule for July 5, no show. Joyce calls, one hour on the phone: the appointment was in your system but somehow no tech was sent.
11. Apparently the tech will arrive July 6 to set things up – no call, now show-up, nada.

So at this point I write them a letter explaining how frustrated everything has been via the contact form in their webpage which they gladly reply with:

“Unfortunately, we cannot resolve your request through e-mail. Please call 1 800-491-0118 or use the click to chat button on the following page:”

So fuck it, I’ll just cancel the service. I ring them up, 30 minutes on hold. Meanwhile I contact them via the chat on the webpage (all whilst the hold recording says something about CenturyLink being #1 in customer service…fuck off!) and the representative tells me that she can help. I hang up and she puts me on yer another chat hold and I eventually get a Crystal H, the name you would expect from a stripper giving you a lap dance at a strip joint – not someone who is about to assist you in settling your account.

So I beg and I say ‘uncle’, I beg the strip…eh..Crystal to cancel my account and then she tells me (after verifying) that she needs a pin. I eventually find the bloody pin and she says ‘no can do’, there are TWO accounts under your name. And this is somehow my fault. I get aggravated and I tell her that it’s another F*** Up (literally, like that) from her end. And she replies that she will not tolerate coarse language. I censored it, for fuck’s sake!

So after that she asks for the pin of second account…I don’t have it! I never received info for that account so the cunt (sorry, she is one) simply closes the window chat and leaves me with my thumb up my ass and back to square one. Yes, I am in the same place I was this morning: NOWHERE.

You have won the battle today, CenturyLink, but not the war. I’m sure this is far from becoming viral, but I swear by my left testicle that I will go to every yelp, google map, and everything in-fucking-between and I will let the wrath of my review wreak havoc on your fucking reputation. If I can get one person to not consider you as their ISP, I’ll be in heaven.